Pilots and Mechanics at Quantas

[Xetox]

Pilots and Mechanics at Quantas .......



After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe

sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered

with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or

correction.



The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond

in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial

action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets

before the next flight.



Never let it be said that ground crews and mechanics lack a

sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance

complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and

the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.





(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)

(S = The solution and action taken by the maintenance engineers.)



P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.



P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.



P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.



P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on backorder.



P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.



P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.



P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.



P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what they're there for.



P: IFF inoperative.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.



P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.



P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.



P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.



P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.



P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.



P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget

pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.



Now this sounds like a FUN air carrier!

[Aragon]

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.



hahahahaaa

[iNViSiGOD]

Damn man now thats some funny shit :D