Cow Theory Of Government

[Xetox]

Cow Theory Of Government





____ DEMOCRAT

____ You have two cows.

____ Your neighbor has none.

____ You feel guilty for being successful.

____ You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing you

____ to sell one to raise money to pay the tax.

____ The people you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give

____ it to your neighbor.

____ You feel righteous.

____ Barbara Streisand sings for you.



____ SOCIALIST

____ You have two cows.

____ The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

____ You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.



____ REPUBLICAN

____ You have two cows.

____ Your neighbor has none.

____ So?



____ COMMUNIST

____ You have two cows.

____ The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

____ You wait in line for hours to get it.

____ It is expensive and sour.



____ CAPITALISM - AMERICAN STYLE

____ You have two cows.

____ You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.



____ DEMOCRACY - AMERICAN STYLE

____ You have two cows.

____ The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support

____ a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from

____ your government.



____ BUREAUCRACY - AMERICAN STYLE

____ You have two cows.

____ The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you

____ for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.



____ AMERICAN CORPORATION

____ You have two cows.

____ You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.

____ You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.

____ You are surprised when one cow drops dead.

____ You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized

____ and are reducing expenses.

____ Your stock goes up.



____ FRENCH CORPORATION

____ You have two cows.

____ You go on strike because you want three cows.

____ You go to lunch.

____ Life is good.



____ JAPANESE CORPORATION

____ You have two cows.

____ You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow

____ and produce twenty times the milk.

____ They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.

____ Most are at the top of their class at cow school.



____ GERMAN CORPORATION

____ You have two cows.

____ You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give

____ excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.

____ Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.



____ ITALIAN CORPORATION

____ You have two cows but you don't know where they are.

____ While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.

____ You break for lunch.

____ Life is good.



____ RUSSIAN CORPORATION

____ You have two cows.

____ You count them and learn you have five cows.

____ You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42

____ cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.

____ You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

____ You produce your 10th, 5-year plan in the last 3 months.

____ The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.





____ FLORIDA CORPORATION

____ You have a black cow and a brown cow.

____ Everyone votes for the best looking one.

____ Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black

____ one.

____ Some people vote for both.

____ Some people vote for neither.

____ Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.

____ Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the

____ best-looking one.



____ NEW YORK CORPORATION

____ You have fifteen million cows.

____ You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd, so you

____ pick some fat cow from Arkansas

[Helmut]

that was a long way to the punchline...

[Xetox]

I like it so :P

[Helmut]

true

[Aragon]

st00p1d

[Xetox]

stop calling yourself names!

[Hanover Fist]

Yup........Funny!



But a long way to go for it.



Kinda like getting ready to screw a virgin,

Shes tenative, shes ready

shes scared, shes excited

shes nervous, shes determined

shes in love, your not

best to leave her a virgin.



Hanover Fist

:D If I puke humor? is it still funny? :D

[Xetox]

dude.......its never best to leave her a virgin, specialy when ur my age ;)

[Hanover Fist]

Yup, and I wish I had known better then too!

Women in love are best left virgins!



BTW, the diference between commited and interested is defined as follows. In a ham and egg breakfast, the chicken has an interest, the pig was commited.



Hanover Fist

Yup, with a 50 Million $ grant from the Us gov I could prove that stupidity has roots in government.

[Xetox]

you watch to much tv bro...