Computer Diagnosis

[MissThang]

One day Bill complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I

guess I should see a doctor." His friend offered, "Don't do

that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose

anything quicker an cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a

sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem

and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10."



Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a

urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer,

he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer

started making some noise and various lights started flashing.

After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which

was printed: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water.

Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.



Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology

was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to

wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a

try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his

dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off,

he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug

store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited

the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out

the following message: Your tap water is too hard. Get a water

softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is

using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is

pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And

if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get

better.