StockMarkey Terms and Def's [Archive] - ForumsHQ

[Xetox]

Stock split - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets

equally between themselves.



Financial Planner - A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to

the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes.



Market Correction - The day after you buy stocks.



Cash Flow - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.



Call Option - Something people used to do with a telephone in ancient times

before e-mail.



Day Trader - Someone who is disloyal from 9-5.



P/E ratio - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the Market

keeps crashing.



Broker - Poorer than you were in 1999.



"Buy, Buy" - A flight attendant making market recommendations as you step

off the plane.



Standard & Poor - Your life in a nutshell.



Stock Analyst - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.



Bull Market - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake

himself for a financial genius.



Bear Market - A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the

wife gets no jewelry.



Momentum Investing - The fine art of buying high and selling low.



Value Investing - The art of buying low and selling lower.



Yahoo - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.



Windows 2000 - What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought

Yahoo for $240 per share.



Institutional Investor - Past year investor who's now locked up in a nut house.



Profit - Religious guy who talks to God.



Alan Greenspan - God



Bill Gates - Where God goes for a loan.