Married Men [Archive] - ForumsHQ

[Xetox]

MAN vs WOMAN

I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women

differ so much. I never have figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing.

And I never have figured out why men think with their head and women

with their heart. Also, I never have figured out how sexual desire

gets thrown into a state of turmoil when it hears the words, "I do."

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the

passion starts to heat up, and she then says, "I don't feel like it, I

just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT?!"

So she says the words that I and every other husband on the planet

dreads. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional

needs as a Woman.

I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realized that

nothing is going to happen that night, so I went to sleep.

The very next day the we went shopping at a big, unnamed department

store...

I walked around while she tried on three very expensive outfits. She

couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her to take all three of

them.

She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200 each to which

I say, "OK." And then we go to the Jewelry Dept. where she gets a set

of diamond earrings. Let me tell you ...she was so excited! She must

have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think

she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis

bracelet because she doesn't even play tennis. I think I threw her for

a loop when I told her that it was OK.

She was almost sexually excited from all of this and you should have

seen her face when she said, "I'm ready to go, let's go to the cash

register."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey. I don't

feel like buying all this stuff now."

You should have seen her face ... it went completely blank. I then

said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a

while." Just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I

added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man."

I figure that I might be having sex again sometime during the Spring

thaw of 2003.

[Raybdbomb]

heh....

[iNViSiGOD]

ROFL

[Platinum]

hahahaha..nice one, freak

[xzero]

HOLY FUCK that was hilarious man

the no sex part is bad though