There’s a woman at work who started talking to me a few months ago. She’s a nice person and I enjoy our brief chats. The problem is that I spend a lot of time on my own (out of choice) that I’m not used to this attention. Her friendliness is purely that and nothing untoward as I know she’s married with children.
Last week, I said some cruel things to her. She was being her usual friendly self and I just couldn’t fathom why she wanted to talk to me. I felt pressured by her and I’m afraid I was rather abrupt. We’ve not spoken since and I miss our chats.
I’ve responded like this to her before and each time, she’s come to me a few days later and we’ve spoken about it and cleared the air. She was very understanding. But this time she’s not come back and I don’t know what to do. I’m not very good with people. I have very few friends and although I like her, I don’t feel I need any more friends. I’m sure I’ve hurt her feelings which I didn’t want to do and I feel rotten about it. What can I do?
Mark
Can you help, please?
Re: Can you help, please?
There’s a woman at work who started talking to me a few months ago. She’s a nice person and I enjoy our brief chats. The problem is that I spend a lot of time on my own (out of choice) that I’m not used to this attention. Her friendliness is purely that and nothing untoward as I know she’s married with children.
Last week, I said some cruel things to her. She was being her usual friendly self and I just couldn’t fathom why she wanted to talk to me. I felt pressured by her and I’m afraid I was rather abrupt. We’ve not spoken since and I miss our chats.
I’ve responded like this to her before and each time, she’s come to me a few days later and we’ve spoken about it and cleared the air. She was very understanding. But this time she’s not come back and I don’t know what to do. I’m not very good with people. I have very few friends and although I like her, I don’t feel I need any more friends. I’m sure I’ve hurt her feelings which I didn’t want to do and I feel rotten about it. What can I do?
Mark
Hey Mark, approach her, or send her a note an appologize. YOu sadi she is understanding, then she'll understand. Embrace the friendship, because she probably needs it. One can be married, and be very much in love with "the spouse" but still in need of a friend.
Being a loner myself, I value all the new friends I make (which if you read this forum, isn't many, as I am very good at pissing people off.)
I’m not very good with people. I have very few friends and although I like her, I don’t feel I need any more friends.
We all needs friends, regardless of how good you may or may not be with people, friendship and companionship is the one thing mankind cannot do without.
So my suggestion, is send her a note, attach a daisy to it, or some other small token of appreciation. Flowers are nice at saying things, like thank you, Just about anything other than a Rose. Tulips & daiseys are a "Hi I messed up, I'm sorry. Can we still be friends" type of flowers.
Last week, I said some cruel things to her. She was being her usual friendly self and I just couldn’t fathom why she wanted to talk to me. I felt pressured by her and I’m afraid I was rather abrupt. We’ve not spoken since and I miss our chats.
I’ve responded like this to her before and each time, she’s come to me a few days later and we’ve spoken about it and cleared the air. She was very understanding. But this time she’s not come back and I don’t know what to do. I’m not very good with people. I have very few friends and although I like her, I don’t feel I need any more friends. I’m sure I’ve hurt her feelings which I didn’t want to do and I feel rotten about it. What can I do?
Mark
Hey Mark, approach her, or send her a note an appologize. YOu sadi she is understanding, then she'll understand. Embrace the friendship, because she probably needs it. One can be married, and be very much in love with "the spouse" but still in need of a friend.
Being a loner myself, I value all the new friends I make (which if you read this forum, isn't many, as I am very good at pissing people off.)
I’m not very good with people. I have very few friends and although I like her, I don’t feel I need any more friends.
We all needs friends, regardless of how good you may or may not be with people, friendship and companionship is the one thing mankind cannot do without.
So my suggestion, is send her a note, attach a daisy to it, or some other small token of appreciation. Flowers are nice at saying things, like thank you, Just about anything other than a Rose. Tulips & daiseys are a "Hi I messed up, I'm sorry. Can we still be friends" type of flowers.
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pillman
Re: Can you help, please?
Hey Mark...this is straight out of the rule books mate... never miff the fair lady...I agree with shaddow...Get your behinds out of that chair..go to her..show that dumb..know -nothing face and say..I am sorry...and tel her if she doesnt accept then you will stand there every day and say that 100 times till she says kewl...
After all we live only once...as mark..this is you.. on earth..what next noone knows...why have people who feel sad...if everyones 'aapy..what more can one ask for..
kewl mate..shed that inhibition for once....go for it with those daisies:)
crash in and tell us that you made her smile...
married or not married mate..freinds are friends..what the heck..
b.t.w i am new here...so hi to everyone..
After all we live only once...as mark..this is you.. on earth..what next noone knows...why have people who feel sad...if everyones 'aapy..what more can one ask for..
kewl mate..shed that inhibition for once....go for it with those daisies:)
crash in and tell us that you made her smile...
married or not married mate..freinds are friends..what the heck..
b.t.w i am new here...so hi to everyone..
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misterx
Re: Can you help, please?
i agree with all of you and have another suggestion:
you could say that you were frustrated or something and that you took it out on her and that you didnt mean it! if youve ever dealt with that type of frustration, you'll take it out on anyone so just tell her that and dont force it. she'll reconsider if you go once and apologise correctly and admit you were wrong!
you could say that you were frustrated or something and that you took it out on her and that you didnt mean it! if youve ever dealt with that type of frustration, you'll take it out on anyone so just tell her that and dont force it. she'll reconsider if you go once and apologise correctly and admit you were wrong!
Re: Can you help, please?
Screw it, take the chance to free yourself form the burdon of those freindly chats you know you hate so much and run. If your anything like me you prolly dont want or need that extra friend who's only purpose is to make you wonder what the hell she has to be happy about all the time.
I say just let it stand, if she really needs the extra friend she will come to you.
I say just let it stand, if she really needs the extra friend she will come to you.
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IslaScotts
- Posts: 0
- Joined: Sun Jul 11, 2004 5:00 am
Re: Can you help, please?
Screw it, take the chance to free yourself form the burdon of those freindly chats you know you hate so much and run. If your anything like me you prolly dont want or need that extra friend who's only purpose is to make you wonder what the hell she has to be happy about all the time.
I say just let it stand, if she really needs the extra friend she will come to you.
I kinda agree with Xetox... i mean if you really do like the friendly small talk... but don't really want a "friend" out of it. Maybe you should just let it stand where it is. So you don't get the lil chats here and there, not like you lost your best friend. But another option you could always let her know the truth.. like the post you put here. Why can't you just say that? That you like your chats with her, your not even looking for a freind.. that an aquaintence with her is fine, that you didn't mean to upset her.. your sorry that you did, and that you want the daily chats to continue.
I say just let it stand, if she really needs the extra friend she will come to you.
I kinda agree with Xetox... i mean if you really do like the friendly small talk... but don't really want a "friend" out of it. Maybe you should just let it stand where it is. So you don't get the lil chats here and there, not like you lost your best friend. But another option you could always let her know the truth.. like the post you put here. Why can't you just say that? That you like your chats with her, your not even looking for a freind.. that an aquaintence with her is fine, that you didn't mean to upset her.. your sorry that you did, and that you want the daily chats to continue.
Re: Can you help, please?
The others seem to have given good advice for a confused young lad, but you don't seem all that confused...
Leave her alone. you didn't want a friend, you would not have it time, and time again, so stop with the abuse and accept you got what you worked for.
She probably thinks you are an ass, but she had to work with you, so why not try to be friendly... Why continue to fix when you know you are just going to go for the hurt again later? Leave the poor girl alone, and maybe you should check into the BDSM scene for your future chat buddies.
Leave her alone. you didn't want a friend, you would not have it time, and time again, so stop with the abuse and accept you got what you worked for.
She probably thinks you are an ass, but she had to work with you, so why not try to be friendly... Why continue to fix when you know you are just going to go for the hurt again later? Leave the poor girl alone, and maybe you should check into the BDSM scene for your future chat buddies.