A real shitty story (true personal story)

[AdmiralAcid]

Ever wakeup in the middle of the night, guts just crunching? Buckled over in shear pain hoping to just crap it off?



This happened to me a few times. BUT NEVER FOR A WHOLE WEEK...



Yes its true --- I officially had the "butt-flu"... Five to seven times a day, curled over in agony on the pot, just praying for a good release. Not to mention the fore-mentioned "nocturnal-excretions" adding another 1 or 2 visits to my best friend "John P. Porcelain" per day. Hell, even took two days off school, seriously thinking about calling the doctor. I thought I was going to die from dehydration, so I made a point to drink more then my normal amount of my favorite drink. I was sweating non-stop, loosing weight, pale as an albino - yes - "THE SERIOUS BUTT-FLU" - And it kept getting worse!



Well, I'm eating anti-diarrhea like they are tabs of acid, mixing another 64oz glass of tea to take them with, when....



Mother says in a curious voice "I thought we were out of tea. Where did you get the tea bags?"

"I'm drinking this green tea." Son replies while keeping his cheek muscles clinched tight.

"NO WONDER YOU'VE BEEN HAVING BOWL-MOVEMENTS! How much of this have you been drinking?" she exclaims...

"What do you mean, I've been drinking it all week, using about 8 teabags per tall glass" replied son w/ brow raised.



--Turns out I was drinking her dietary tea! That crap makes you have diarrhea. Only I was going WAY over the amount you are spouts ingest. The more I shat, the more I drank in fear of dying of crraping out all my bodies water!



Needles to say, I regained my weight and haven't had a gut wrenching midnight explosion sense.





??? Someone Please tell me... What's the moral of this story???

[Speed]

Don't drink yer moms tea...?

[zan]

dont teabag your mom?..... just a thought..

[Hobo_Bill]

rofl.. Ok, gotta add my own lil tidbit. Don'tcha just hate it when you sit on the pot and your doodle hangs just a bit too low and dabbles around in the toilet water?

[YaMamaBitch]

nasty fucks. all of you.



:)



I can't talk about poop - it's not lady like.

[Delete]

Originally posted by AdmiralAcid

??? Someone Please tell me... What's the moral of this story???





Whats the moral to any story Kix tells??





:hump:

[porkinbone]

My poop stinks

[NIN]

Grandpa AA tells the best stories!

"Depends" diapers for you!!

[Hanover Fist]

Heres my son,

OH WOW!

Dad DAd DAD! Come quick Dad,



Look...........................theres corn in my poop!



DUH!!



The thing is, I ran down the hall faster than shit and expected that he had let out a Shit Weasel (hehhe see Dreamcatcher) or something.



Kids, they say the damndest things.



Hanover Fist