Male Rules (girls read!) [Archive] - ForumsHQ

[Rust In Peace]

We always hear "the rules" from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!



Please note these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!



1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,

put it down. We need it up, you need it down.

You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.



1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.



1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the

changing of the tides. Let it be.



1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more

attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons

guys fear getting married is that married women

always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.



1. Shopping is NOT a sport.



1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!



1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and

anniversaries on a calendar.

Remind us frequently beforehand.



1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes -- tops.

What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing

which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?



1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to

almost every question.



1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.

That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.



1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.

See a doctor !!!



1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an

argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.



1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.



1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways,

and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,

we meant the other one.



1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.



1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how

you want it done.

Not both. If you already know best how to do it,

just do it yourself.



1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have

to say during commercials.



1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions,

and neither do we.



1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the

first two months we were going out. Get over it;

And quit whining to your girlfriends.



1.ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour.

We have no idea what mauve is.



1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.



1. We are not mind readers and we never will be.

Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how

little we care about you.



1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"

we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying,

but it is just not worth the hassle.



1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything

you wear is fine. Really.



1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you

are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint,

the offside rule, or motorbikes.



1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.





1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.

[MissThang]

Most guys own three pairs of shoes -- tops.

What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing

which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?



ain't that one true!

[Reckless]

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.

See a doctor !!!



Amen to that! - That brings to mind the phrase, "Put out or get out" for some odd reason.

[Relorian]

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!



Damn Straight. This is a must for every girl to read.



Relorian