Things Only a Military Mind Can Appreciate [Archive] - ForumsHQ

[Xetox]

How often do you remember hearing these?



* "A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least

expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit"



* "Aim towards Enemy" - Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher



* When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.



* If it's stupid, but it works, it isn't stupid.



* Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs always hit

the ground.



* If the enemy is in range, so are you.



* It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just

bombed.



* Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never

encountered automatic weapons.



* When in doubt, empty the magazine.



* Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.



* You, you, and you... Panic. The rest of you, come with me.



* Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one.



* Incoming fire has the right of way.



* Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire.



* Tracers work both ways.



* Five second fuses only last three seconds.



* Who cares if a laser guided 500 lb. bomb is accurate to within 9 feet?



* The easy way is always mined.



* Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever

volunteer to do anything.



* Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than you.



* Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid.



* If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.



* Teamwork is essential. It gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.



* Push to test... Release to detonate.



* No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.



* Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you can't get out.



* Any ship can be a minesweeper... once.



* Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.



* The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war.



* Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you.



* The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions: When you're ready

for them. When you're not ready for them.



* Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.



* Friendly fire - isn't.



* The side with the simplest uniforms win



* When you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in combat.



* Mines are equal opportunity weapons.



* If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn't plan your mission properly.