Horrible [Archive] - ForumsHQ

[Xetox]

True Emergency Room Visits -

INNER SKELETON-----

A 63 year old widow was admitted to the hospital

in Recife, Brazil, suffering abdominal pains.

X-rays showed

that she was carrying a 20 inch long skeleton of

a fetus

which she conceived a decade earlier. It had

become lodged

outside the womb and was never expelled from her

body.

FEMALE SOFA-----

A 500lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a

hospital. During the examination, an asthma

inhaler

fell from under her armpit, a dime was found

under one

of her breasts and a remote control was found

lodged

between the folds of her vulva.

PRICKLY PAIR-----OUCH!

In Michigan, a man came into the ER with

lacerations

to his penis. He complained that his wife had

"...a rat in her privates..." and it bit him

during sex.

After an examination of his wife, it was revealed

that

she had a surgical needle left inside her after a

recent hysterectomy.

PING PONG ANYONE?-----

A 20 year old man came into the ER with a stony

mass in

his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend was

fooling around with concrete mix, then his

boyfriend

had the idea of pouring the mix into his anus

using a

funnel. The concrete then hardened, causing

constipation

and pain. Under general anesthesia, a perfect

concrete

cast of the man's rectum was removed along with a

ping-pong ball. (Boy we live sheltered lives -

thank

goodness)

BLIND DRUNK-----

A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER

complaining

of severe pain while trying to remove his contact

lenses. He said that they would come out halfway,

but

they always popped back in. A nurse tried to help

using a suction pump, but without success.

Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered the

man did

not have his contact lenses in at all. He had

been

trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea.

OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH!-----

A couple hobbled into a Washington State

emergency

room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The

man had his hands around his abdomen and the

woman had hers around her head. They eventually explained to

doctors that they had gone out that evening for a

romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept

under the table to administer oral sex to the man.

While in the act, she had a seizure which caused her to clamp down on the man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go. And you all thought your day was going bad!!!!

[War Hawk]

cough..nolife..cough

[Xetox]

cough, email, cough

[Aragon]

cough ur both gay cough

[Xetox]

cough aragon's a gay lesbian flamer!

[Raybdbomb]

ahem

[War Hawk]

damn you are too??? well sheeeit