The Intelligent Parrot

[Raybdbomb]

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a

little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud,

"Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"



The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."



"Holy shit," the guy replies."You actually understood and answered

me!"



"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly

intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."



"Oh yeah?", the guy asks, "Then answer this....How do you hang onto

your perch without any feet?"



"Well, "the parrot says,"this is very embarrassing but since you

asked, I wrap my willie around this wooden bar like a little hook.

You can't see it because of my feathers."



"Wow" says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English,

can't you?"



"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English and I can converse with

reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion,

sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You

really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."



The guy looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford

that."



"Passssst" says the parrot...."I'm defective, so the truth is,

nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You probably can get me

for $20. Just make the guy an offer!"



The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by.The

parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humour, he's

interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he

sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.



One day he comes home from work and the parrot goes " Pssssssssssst"

and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell

you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."



"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.



"When the postman delivered today, your wife greeted him at the door

in a sheer black nightie and kissed him passionately."



"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"



"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her

nightie and began petting her all over,"reported the parrot.



"My God!" the guy exclaims. "Then what?"



"Then he took off her nightie, got down on his knees and began to

lick her all over, starting with her breasts and slowly going

down....."



"WELL???" demands the frantic guy. "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"



"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch."