Daddy's home [Archive] - ForumsHQ

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Saturday morning and Bob's just about to tee off for a round of golf when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming round at noon.



So Bob heads back to the clubhouse and phones home.



'Hello,' says a little girl's voice.



'Hi, honey, it's Daddy,' says Bob. 'Is Mummy near the phone?'



'No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank.'



After a brief pause, Bob says,

'But you haven't got an Uncle Frank, honey.'



'Yes I do and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mummy.'



'Okay, then. Here's what I want you to do. Put the phone down, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mummy and Uncle Frank that Daddy's car's just pulled up outside the house.'



'Okay, Daddy.'



A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.

`Well I did what you said, Daddy.'



'And what happened?'



'Well, Mummy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran round and round screaming, then she tripped over the rug and fell out the front window and now I think she's all dead.'



'Oh my God... and what about Uncle Frank?'



'He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too and he was all scared and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool, but he must have forgot that last week you took out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and now he's dead too.'



There is a long pause, then Bob says, 'Swimming pool. . . what swimming pool? Is this 555-*** ....?'