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A little comedy from Ernie over at http://www.ehowa.com ......





Great Marine joke (those non-military types won't get it)

Q. Why does the Army say "Who Ahh"?

A. Because they can't say "Who Rah" with a dick in their mouth.



The young couple is on their honeymoon. After a few hours of exhausting

great sex he says, "Now you won't see me for a while."

"Where're on our honeymoon!" she exclaims. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Nowhere, Sweetie," he says, "turn over."



Q. Why are men Thinkers and women Talkers?

A. Because men have two heads and women have four lips.



One gay man decides to have a tattoo done. On arrival to the tattooist he

spots a picture of Evander Holyfield. "Oh he's my favourite darling.... can

you do him on the cheek of my ass??" he asked the tattooist. So it was

done. On the way out of the store he spots another picture on the wall,

this time Mike Tyson. "Oh good lord " the queer bloke blurted out. "I just

adore big Mike, can you do him on my other cheek please lovey" So it was

done. On returning home his boyfriend says " Well drop your trousers, give

us a look." Queer bloke 1 dropped his pants to reveal his arse, to which

the boyfriend replied in fright, "I think our relationship is over, because

I sure as Hell ain't getting in the ring with those two"



Q. Did you hear that Hollywood is going to remake the exorcist?

A. Its about a mother who hires the Devil to get a priest out of her son.



Baby Frog: Mama, who is smarter- a chicken or a frog?

Mama Frog: We are of course!!

Baby Frog: How do you know?

Mama Frog: Well, who ever heard of Kentucky Fried Frog?



Q. What do men and noodles have in common?

A. They're always in hot water; they lack taste, and they need dough.



Life is like a Shit sandwich. The more bread you have, the less shit you

have to eat.



One day a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted, "What setting

do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," his wife replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "University of Alabama."



Q. Did you hear about the gay rabbit?

A. He found a hare up his ass.



When I was at Fort Dix, N.J., for Army basic training, my father, an Air

Force master sergeant, was stationed at Dover Air Force Base in Delaware. I

got a weekend pass, and Dad picked me up Friday evening so we could drive

home to Massachusetts. On the way, we stopped at a diner. I was wearing my

dress greens, and Dad was in dress blues. The waitress looked puzzled as

she took our order. "Is something wrong, ma'am?" I asked. "It's unusual to

see men in different services travelling together," she explained. "That's

nothing," Dad replied. "He's taking me home to sleep with his mother!"



Q. How did the Puerto Rican woman loose 20 pounds in one day?

A. She washed off her makeup!



While working as a volunteer at our local Boy Scout Council office, one of

the professional staff -- who was wearing street clothes instead of her

usual uniform -- was talking about the NATO phonetic alphabet. She said

that she had learned it some years ago and proceeded to recite it. "Alpha,

Bravo, Charlie, Delta..." But, when she got to the letter "U," she stumbled

and asked for help.

I offered a hint: "What AREN'T you wearing today?"

"Underwear?" she replied.



Q. How did the Italian woman loose 20 pounds in one day?

A. Shaved her arms.



An Australian was walking down a country road in New Zealand, when he

happened to glance over the fence and see a farmer goin' at it with a

sheep. The Aussie is quite taken aback by this, so he climbs the fence and

walks over to the farmer. He taps him on the shoulder and says, "You know

mate, back home, we shear those!" The New Zealander looks frantically

around and says, "I'm not bloody sharing this sheep with no one!



Q. Define Kleptopyrohomonecronymphobestiality.

A. Anal sex with a stolen flaming dead raccoon.



A businessman packing for a trip glances in his briefcase. "Honey?"

"Yes, darling?"

"Honey," he said in mild exasperation, "why do you persist in putting a

condom in my briefcase every time I go on a trip? You know I only have

eyes for you. I'd never be unfaithful."

"Oh, I know, darling, and I trust you," she replied sweetly. "It's just

that, well you know, with all those terrible diseases out there, it would

make me feel better to know that if anything did happen, you'd be

protected. So please, darling, take it with you, won't you? For my sake?"

"Oh, alright, if you put it that way," he relented, "I'll do it for you.

...But for Pete's sake, give me more than one!"



Q. Why do sophisticated men prefer redneck blondes over sophisticated blondes?

A. No teeth.



An Australian man was sitting in his favorite restaurant when a Japanese

bloke said to him, "I am sick of seeing your big round eyes."

The Australian replied, "Put on a blind fold."

The Japanese man asked, "Where do I get one?

The Australian then said, "Here take my shoe lace."

[Raybdbomb]

that was terrible....



terribly funny :)