Idiots of 2002

[Xetox]

Number One Idiot of 2002

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the

poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because

she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her

that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her

daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the

conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant

poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better

bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.

Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

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Number Two Idiots of 2002

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to

steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting

it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on

the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It

turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that

activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.

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Number Three Idiots of 2002

A true story out of San Francisco:

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the

branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag."

While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to

worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the

police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of

America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in

line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and,

surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light

in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note

because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he

would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank

of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He

was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank

of America.

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.

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Number Four Idiot of 2002

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that

measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.. He later

received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead

of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several

days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another

picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.

Another sign (though this guy might be onto something worth thinking

about)!

*****************************

Number Five Idiot of 2002

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all

of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a

bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the

counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well,

but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21."

The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him

because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his

driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk

looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put

the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his

loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and

address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two

hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign.!

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Idiot Number Six of 2002

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving

revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner

moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn't need a sign, he probably figured it out himself.

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Idiot Number Seven of 2002

Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided

that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab

some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over

his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be

thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store

window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

Oh, that smarts.

Give him his sign.

******************

Idiot Number Eight of 2002

Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked

into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A. M.., flashed a

gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he

couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man

ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The

man, frustrated, walked away.

Sign please.

*****************

Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote.

[Sigma]

afk

[Xetox]

Originally posted by Sigma

Addendum :



erek micah







lol

[Sigma]

Detox: if thats what you think then, like I said have a nice life!

Detox: LMAO

[Xetox]

thats not really what I was laf'n at.......but what ever!

[Relorian]

Re-Reading these made me laugh my ass off