Having a kid... [Archive] - ForumsHQ

[Mistress]

Originally posted by dxpac666

I dont quite have the money for a lengthy court battle to gain custody, but I have discussed it with my fiancee and she agrees with me that I should do it. Right now my only hope is that his mother fucks up. I have called DCFS on her twice and of course they didn't do shit. I've turned her in for public aid fraud, (lying about me not living with her when i did, so i have to pay $2000 extra back child support), they didnt do shit. She does have a record, but most of it is as a minor. I have a record also, but all my shit is from a few years ago. When I was with her, a couple years ago, her probation was to be over in Summer 2002. Last I heard, she's on it til December 2003. So I know she has fucked up. I have been probation since June this year. I havent gotten in any trouble. I don't make shit for money, so can't afford a lawyer. Her mom pays for her lawyer. I don't stand a chance, except her lawyer seemed to work harder for me when it came to coming down to an agreement for visitation. This is a long drawn out story, and if I was to tell the whole thing, I'd be an angel compared to her, but for some reason, the courts dont give a shit. She lives in a county where everyone knows everyone. Her mom went to school with everyone important. She got my financial info to know how much child support to ask for, from the bank. Her mom just walked in and asked for my info from the loan I got, and they gave it to her. That's illegal as fuck, but of course, nobody would do shit about it cuz they all grew up together, and I'm an "outsider". I have no doubts one day I'll have custody. Hopefully now that he's in preschool, he'll tell his teacher (if she isnt friends with his grandmother too) about how Mommy's boyfriend kicked her ass and put her int he hospital and she's still with him and he's around my kid every day. He ever touches him and I'll be back in jail but it'll be worth it.





It's worth looking into. There are placecs who work pro-bono (i think thats how its spelled) which is free. Most lawyers offices require their employees to put in a certain number of hours in community service and most choose to do that through free cases. I would just give a call around and see if you can find a few. Tell them the story, what you have trtied to do and see if you cant get some help :)

[iNViSiGOD]

I have to agree on the "ADD" issue with reckless, i've been diagnosed with ADD since i was about 3 years old. And i still have it today. Problem being is they pump kids so full of meds that like myself,it has long term side effects (aka my memory problem) that the children grow up with other dificiencies due to lack of medication.

[dxpac666]

I have tried calling the legal services in my area that provide "pro-bono" service, but I "make too much money". I don't even make $8 an hour. SHE makes more than I do and can get public aid, medical card, everything. Just to prove how much of an idiot she is, tonight she called me at work and threatened to have me thrown in jail for contempt because I didn't pick my son up at 6pm Friday. Errr... I'm sorry, the court papers say I have to get him at 8am Saturday. She's an idiot. She's so horrible that my fiancee, who I've been with for 2 years, is starting to have second thoughts about getting married because she doesn't want to deal with her. I hate that fucking bitch.

[MrBlack]

***thick gangsta-mob accent**** ya want i shoulda get rida her fo ya boss?

[Platinum]

Kids are a blessing, in my opinion. All my life, I've been told I'm great with kids and I'll make a good father one day..I'm waiting for that day, yet at the same time I hope it isn't soon. I agree with the above about it changing your life, and I won't be ready for change like that until a lot of other things change first.



I have taken 2 "parenting" type classes already and I'm 17. I think I have the knowledge to do the job, but not the mentality. I also don't quite make enough money to support it=P



People who neglect their children, no matter what the reason, deserve to die. No child should be neglected the least bit..my mother once told me that when I have kids, she knows it will be hard, that sometimes I'll just feel like I'm going to go insane, feel like I can't take it anymore..but she also told me that if I ever feel like that, that she wants me to bring my child to her for a few hours, maybe the day, so I can get calmed down and get my head on straight. I'm thankful for that, that I have a mom who's willing to be there and take care of me and my child whenever it may be that I have one. Unfortunately, not everyone is so fortunate to have a mother that willing, but if you are, be thankful, and take heed to what I said! Don't hit your children out of frustration, let someone else take care of them when you get frustrated, even if only for a few hours.

[Reckless]

Damn Invisi :( That is a shame and I bet that the memory loss is just one side effect of the ridalin or whatever they're prescribing for it nowadays. But that's one awful damn side effect. I've taken a class in general psychology and not once did ADD come up. I don't see how they justify using those drugs or even by diagnosing this disorder. I should do more research into it!





Hitting children out of frustration isn't good, but spanking and things along those line aren't bad. Yes it teaches aggression, but it's also in how they're raised that lets them expound on that aggression. How often the parents "beat it into them" (non-physically) the morals, principles and values that most people in jail didn't get.



Yeah you are lucky Plat, parenthood isn't something you're ever prepared for though ;) No matter how much ya think ya know...you get to realize that you don't know a lot. hehe Kids are great though.

[Platinum]

I somewhat disagree with the thing about how parents pounding sense into their children, even if not physically, helps. It doesn't. You can tell your child what you want them to know, and more than you may think, that works. Every time I was going to do something that would get me into trouble, I always thought of something my parents said to try to keep me from doing what I did..I did it anyway, but I don't do stupid shit anymore because every time I did something, I felt more and more like I shouldn't because of what my parents taught me, and gradually gave it all up.



If you try to force your kids to be good, even verbally, it will have the opposite effect..you're going to smack them when they say "crap", and give them a 8 o'clock curfew, and enforce all these strict rules on them..well when they get to an age where they realize what you're doing and how much you've screwed up their lives, because their friends make fun of them, because they can't go out and do anything on weekends, because you slap them right in front of their friends for saying "crap", they'll completely hate you, and end up worse than those who never had much parenting at all.



I say this because that's EXACTLY how my best friends parents were..and I'm not joking when I said they smack him for saying "crap"..he gets into so much shit now that I'm surprised he's still around to talk about it. The only thing I think that kept him in, and not to be egotistical, is that he had a friend like me..I was always "coaching" him on what to do and giving him reasons..I would give him my point of view of everything, and he knew I could be trusted, so he considered what I said every time.



He turned out not so bad, but no help to his parents.



Don't try to force a way of life onto your kids. Let them find their own way of life, just give them suggestions here and there and hope they do the right thing. I'm not saying condone bad behavior, you shouldn't. But I'm also saying don't make your kids into this little goody-good 2 shoes because they're going to grow up and hate you for how you raised them.

[MissThang]

Aragon!! Her first word was mama!!! lol.. see now ya know... When she wakes up in the morning I will start teaching her your name lol!:love:

[Aragon]

Originally posted by MissThang

Aragon!! Her first word was mama!!! lol.. see now ya know... When she wakes up in the morning I will start teaching her your name lol!:love:



yeah make sure she learns my name before icky ricky

:eek1:

[Aragon]

Originally posted by MissThang

Aragon!! Her first word was mama!!! lol.. see now ya know... When she wakes up in the morning I will start teaching her your name lol!:love:



and don't you mean when you wake up you sleepy head :-p