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Did you ever wonder why they use A, B, C, D, DD, E, F and G for defining bra size?



Well, I'll let you in on what those letters stand for..it's about time you were informed...





[A] - Almost Boubs...



[B] - Barely there.



[C] - Can't Complain!



[D] - Damn!



[DD] - Double Damn!



[E] - Enormous!



[G] - GEeeeSus Christ!



[F] - Fake.

This joke is much better when it has pictures with it..

A man wearing a balaclava bursts into a sperm bank with a sawn-off shot gun. "Open the mutha-f**king safe!" he yells at the girl behind the counter.



"But we're not a real bank" replies the girl. "This is a sperm bank, we don't hold money".



"Don't f**kin argue with me - just open the goddam safe or I'll blow your f**king head off!"

She obliges and opens the safe door.



"Take one of the bottles and drink it!"



"But it's full of sperm" the girl replies nervously.



"Don't argue honey, just drink it" he says. She prises off the cap and gulps it down, every last drop.



"Take out another one and drink it too!" he demands. The girl drinks another one.



Suddenly the guy pulls off the balaclava and to the girl's amazement it's her husband...



"Not that f**king difficult is it???" he says.

Three male mice are sitting at a bar with 3 shots of tequila arguing about how tough they are. The first mouse says, "I'm so tough I break into the cupboard just to eat the rat poison." He slams down his tequila and looks at the second mouse.



The second mouse replies, "That's nothing. I'm so tough I run through a mouse trap, grab the cheese, flip onto my back & benchpress the killer springed trapwire." He slams down his tequila and glares at the third mouse.



The third mouse slams down his tequila, slides off his stool and begins walking away from the bar. The other mice scream, "Hey, ya big Jessie, where do you think you're going?!!"



The third mouse growls, "Home to fuck the cat."

A 21 year old girl saunters into a prestigous car showroom, looks around all the Porsches, Ferrari's and Lamborghini's before deciding on a top-end Red Porsche.



"I'll pay cash!" she says and hands over a bagful of Twenties.



The deal is finalised very quickly and the girl drives it away.



2 days later she's back, fuming "I want my money back...it smells awfully bad when I use the brakes."



Not wanting to lose the sale (having taken cash and fiddled the books) the sales-manager decides to ride in the car with her 'in case she ain't driving it properly'



He gets in and she roars out of the dealership, drops it into second gear at 50 mph, floors the pedal again and slips into 3rd at 80mph, does a handbrake turn into a country lane and then really starts to accelerate.



110mph in 4th, 140 in 5th, the engine's roaring like a Lion with toothache, and the car is shuddering as it climbs to 170mph. The scenery is a green blur and the G-force has him pinned in the seat.



In the distance, to his relief, the barriers of a level crossing are beginning to come down and she will have to slow down (he thinks!), but no, she floors it and the revometer climbs higher.



100 yards from the crossing she slams on the brakes and the car stops inches from the barrier.



"So, can you smell it?" she says.



"SMELL IT? HONEY, I'M SITTING IN IT!!!"

An African ambassador treated Bill Clinton with all hospitality, until the final day of his stay. Leading him to a private room in the palace, the African ambassador spoke, "Now, time for you to sample our game, African roulette". He then led the Bill into the room, the only occupants of which were six stunning and naked women.



The African ambassador said, "These women are the most beautiful members of one of our tribes. Any one of them will give you a oral sex - take your pick".



Mr. Clinton was not entirely averse to this idea, but he couldn't see the connection with Russian Roulette. He said, "Well, ok, great, but where's the roulette part? Where's the danger?"



With a big grin on his face, the African ambassador answered:



"One of them's a cannibal."

hehe.... now that's what I call roulette

Heh..good jokes

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she was going to receive the usual three wishes.



The Genie said, "Nope... due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third-world countries, and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So...what'll it be?"



The woman didn't hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."



The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Gadzooks, lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good, but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish."



The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, is good in bed and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That's what I wish for ... a good mate."



The Genie let out a long sigh and said, "Let me see that fucking map!"

This guy wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in his tree. He looks in the phone book for a gorilla removal service until he finds one.



"Is it a boy or girl Gorilla?" the service guy asks. "Boy," is the man's response. "Oh yeah, I can do it. I'll be right there," says the service guy.



An hour later the service guy shows up with a stick, a Chihuahua, a shotgun, and a pair of handcuffs. He then gives the man some structions: "Now, I'm going to climb this tree and poke the gorilla with the stick until he falls. When he does, the trained Chihuahua will bite the gorilla's testicles off. The gorilla will then cross his hands to protect himself and allow you to put the handcuffs on him."



The man asks, "What do I do with the shotgun?" The service guy replies, "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the Chihuahua."