Things Only a Military Mind Can Appreciate [Archive] - ForumsHQ
Posted: Mon Oct 21, 2002 11:11 am
How often do you remember hearing these?
* "A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least
expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit"
* "Aim towards Enemy" - Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher
* When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
* If it's stupid, but it works, it isn't stupid.
* Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs always hit
the ground.
* If the enemy is in range, so are you.
* It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just
bombed.
* Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never
encountered automatic weapons.
* When in doubt, empty the magazine.
* Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
* You, you, and you... Panic. The rest of you, come with me.
* Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one.
* Incoming fire has the right of way.
* Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire.
* Tracers work both ways.
* Five second fuses only last three seconds.
* Who cares if a laser guided 500 lb. bomb is accurate to within 9 feet?
* The easy way is always mined.
* Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever
volunteer to do anything.
* Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than you.
* Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid.
* If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
* Teamwork is essential. It gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.
* Push to test... Release to detonate.
* No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
* Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you can't get out.
* Any ship can be a minesweeper... once.
* Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.
* The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war.
* Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you.
* The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions: When you're ready
for them. When you're not ready for them.
* Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.
* Friendly fire - isn't.
* The side with the simplest uniforms win
* When you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in combat.
* Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
* If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn't plan your mission properly.
* "A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least
expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit"
* "Aim towards Enemy" - Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher
* When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
* If it's stupid, but it works, it isn't stupid.
* Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs always hit
the ground.
* If the enemy is in range, so are you.
* It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just
bombed.
* Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never
encountered automatic weapons.
* When in doubt, empty the magazine.
* Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
* You, you, and you... Panic. The rest of you, come with me.
* Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one.
* Incoming fire has the right of way.
* Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire.
* Tracers work both ways.
* Five second fuses only last three seconds.
* Who cares if a laser guided 500 lb. bomb is accurate to within 9 feet?
* The easy way is always mined.
* Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever
volunteer to do anything.
* Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than you.
* Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid.
* If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
* Teamwork is essential. It gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.
* Push to test... Release to detonate.
* No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
* Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you can't get out.
* Any ship can be a minesweeper... once.
* Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.
* The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war.
* Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you.
* The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions: When you're ready
for them. When you're not ready for them.
* Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.
* Friendly fire - isn't.
* The side with the simplest uniforms win
* When you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in combat.
* Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
* If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn't plan your mission properly.