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Know what..its not as "Hard" or as "Terrible" as people think it is. It just depends on how lazy people are.



I knew a 17yr old, had a kid, living on her own, working full time..she was doing fine.



I am 21, my gf is 18..we have a 2 yr old. We were doing fine untill I lost my job. Even though I lost my job, we are still doing "ok", and I am about to get another real job.



First year...(0-12months)

Long nights, lots of "bring careful", lots of reading, lots of "no going out", lots of spending money on THE BABY, lots of hospital visits, or doctor visits, lots or worring...



Second year...(13-24months)

Should have a sleeping pattern by now, still paying for diapers, clothes and food..but ya dont NEED any special foods, she starts to come alive...walking, talking, she starts to understand things. She even makes jokes! ITS TO FUNNY! Now..I'm sure times will get difficult again..but right now, I am having a blast with her. You can teach her things, read to her..she laughs at things, oh...and the best part....I can take her to ANY movie and she is quiet!! I heard that 24+ months is when she starts to say no...she says that already...but its not to point of "being a brat"...just yet.



Third year(no clue yet..she is only 21 months old)

that was touching



kids ruin a life tho. i mean sure you have 'em and you're glad ya did, but think how it would've been without 'em? a lot less responsibility, a lot more time to yourself, nights slept in peace, money could've been invested otherwise if not frivolously.



the smartest thing in the world, IMO, is to wear a condom or take that morning-after pill or even remain abstinent. Because rest assured, whatever plans you COULD'VE had, are now gone. You say they're "doing fine" are they pursuing an education or did they just get promoted to managers' assistant at McDonald's? These days you can barely survive with a bachelors in a field, you need LOTS of education or training or experience. I'd rather not live paycheck to paycheck, I'd like to have something to fall back on.



But Brunt's right, kids aren't just a job, they're a joy too. I've had the pleasure of interacting with tons of cousins and nephews and neices younger than I, and it's an awesome experience. To see them grow, imitate, and share. It's touching, it really is. But all I have to say is this:



There is a time and place for everything. Sure, you can knock up some 16 year old when you're 19 *cough* (j/k brunt) or you can wait until you're somewhat established and have enough money and actually have thought about what's going to happen if you have a child and how you're going to support it.



But then again, accidents do happen. I am sure there are other ways for good ol' Brunt to deal with a pregnant gf, but what he did was prolly the best, and I commend him.



Good lookin out bud, I'm proud of ya :P*. Ya didn't act ideally according to my mindset, but ya did roll with the punches.



gosta go



Ray

I dont think they RUIN your life...its just a CHANGE in prioritys.



Yes...I wasn't ready for the child at the begining...and it would help if they were planned...but at the time, I was making $12/hr with full bennies and it was enough to support us.



Erin and I are still togather!!



Pros and Cons..everything has them



But your right...I would say it would be better to plan everything out..it would be better for you, and the baby...I was just trying to say that even if it wasn't planned...its not impossible.



At times...Erin does feel depressed(had to get her GED, didn't go to prom..) stuff like that...but thats what I am here for, and thats what Hayley is here for...She would rather have Hayley then have went to Prom and Graduate from HS. Ya think about it..who cares about Prom and the actual graduation anymore?



And true...you dont make a lot of money unless you have lots of education...but if you get lucky...the manager at the local Theater...his TAKE HOME after taxes...is $2,500+. No education..just experience. The lead projectionsest...$17/hr...no education..just experience....



I know you can make $30+/hr with a good education...but I was paying almost $700+/mo Rent only making $12/hr and we were doing fine. I had a 401k with $2000(only had the job less then 1yr 8 months). When I got fired though...I had to take the money out..and well, I paid off some bills and lived off of it for w while(taxes suck!).

I was 19, she was 16. My son is 4 now. It's a pain in the ass. I'm not with his mother anymore, and I have good reasons for that. I hope you have better luck than I did. I get to pay more child support than what I'm supposed to, I have to deal with the fact that she doesn't tell him "NO" or discipline in him any way, so when I have him, he is a terror. I love him to death, but his mother being a psycho bitch from hell makes it very hard to deal with. I lived with her until my son was almost 2. I won't get into any of the nasty details unless you really wanna know my story, and it's a helluva story. If you can make it work out, more power to ya. I'm just lucky that my son loves my fiancee and she loves him too. I never knew anything about kids until he was born, and I'm still not the greatest dad in the world, and it's nice having her around to help me out.

:cry: :cry: :cry: i missed hayley's first word :cry: :cry: :cry:

you can never really plan for a kid. if you are waiting until you "feel secure" money-wise, there will always be something else you will feel you need instead. Im not saying no kids are planned. My first child was planned. We set out with every intention of bring a child into the world together. In the end it turned out to one of the greatest joys I will ever have. Even tho things did not work out with her mother, I have no regrets. Paying child support is the least I can do. I pick her up at least once a week, and I get her every other weekend and holiday, all the norms. But my ex and I are still friends, and I can get her anytime I want. My 2nd child wasnt planned (at the time) we were planning on kids, just didnt plan on her getting pregnant the first night of our honeymoon. Either way, that relationship didnt work out either, But I have that child every day. But what im getting at is, that if you are with someone and want to have a child with them, you will never do it if you feel you need to wait until you are more financially set. cuz you will always find more things you feel you will need first. and in the meantime, you are missing out on the single greatest journey you will ever take.

I dont think anyone is really ready to have Kids...Planning I dont know about all that, I think life comes as it will, and u must go with the flo......Brunt Rock on and I wish ya all the luck, maybe someday I will have a kid or 2 but ya never know :)

ha,

it takes many screws to build a crib, but only 1 to fill it.

Originally posted by dxpac666

I was 19, she was 16. My son is 4 now. It's a pain in the ass. I'm not with his mother anymore, and I have good reasons for that. I hope you have better luck than I did. I get to pay more child support than what I'm supposed to, I have to deal with the fact that she doesn't tell him "NO" or discipline in him any way, so when I have him, he is a terror. I love him to death, but his mother being a psycho bitch from hell makes it very hard to deal with. I lived with her until my son was almost 2. I won't get into any of the nasty details unless you really wanna know my story, and it's a helluva story. If you can make it work out, more power to ya. I'm just lucky that my son loves my fiancee and she loves him too. I never knew anything about kids until he was born, and I'm still not the greatest dad in the world, and it's nice having her around to help me out.





Lemme see...where to start

First off, it really makes me sick to my stomach to see mother's keeping children away from a willing and able dad. There are way too many dead beat fathers who dont give a shit. Me and my ex are still good friends. He can see his daughter whenever he chooses to and when we got divorced, child support was agreed upon, there was no ugly divorce/custody battle, we both sat down and worked everything out on our own. I don't want him screwed having to pay more than he can handle and I would never leave him out of our daughter's life.



Secondly, the discipline issue. He will learn, trust me ;) My daughter is the same way. Her father spoils her rotten and never tells her no for anything and she knows she can get away with anything her little heart desires. BUT, as soon as she comes back home to mom, she knows the rules change. Different people will discipline a child in different ways and children are smart enough to know the differences. Keep up with your way of doing things with him and be consistent and he will learn. He will give mom hell like crazy and when he is with you, he will behave the way he knows he has to behave.



Good luck and enjoy your little one, they grow up way too fast :(

Originally posted by Xetox

I dont think anyone is really ready to have Kids...Planning I dont know about all that, I think life comes as it will, and u must go with the flo......Brunt Rock on and I wish ya all the luck, maybe someday I will have a kid or 2 but ya never know :)



Amen to that :) I never really "planned" to have my two girls. The first one I was 19 and in a pretty bad spot. After she was born I had to straighten my life out pretty quickly, so it was a very very good thing. She made me grow up and take responsibility for myself and her. All in all, I love my girls to death :)