Booty Call Rules?
Posted: Mon Sep 02, 2002 12:19 am
Yes, here they are! THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:
1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.
3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have shit to talk about.
4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me?) The
answer is no, so don't ask.
6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup," unless you are from
out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.
8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of your damn business
10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not friends, just sex buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.
12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.
13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your ass up, get dressed and go the
fuck home.
14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.
15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's
girlfriend/boyfriend."
17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye contact the better.
18. No condoms, no fucking. Carry your ass home.
19. If we go out for dinner and drinks, bring your wallet. I'm not wining and dining your ass, just tapping it.
20. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.
21. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back looking for your ass.
1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.
3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have shit to talk about.
4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me?) The
answer is no, so don't ask.
6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup," unless you are from
out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.
8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of your damn business
10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not friends, just sex buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.
12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.
13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your ass up, get dressed and go the
fuck home.
14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.
15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's
girlfriend/boyfriend."
17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye contact the better.
18. No condoms, no fucking. Carry your ass home.
19. If we go out for dinner and drinks, bring your wallet. I'm not wining and dining your ass, just tapping it.
20. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.
21. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back looking for your ass.