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Heres a topic that was brought to my attention earlier while talkin with a friend and helping him out with a bit of a problem...



First off, I know there aren't many females in this forum, if any at all, so this is gonna be quite one sided, if anyone would be able to get a female opinion posted, it would be great http://mmb.forumshq.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink2.gif



Anyway...marriage...what do you all think about it? Is it worth it in todays society? According to polls, more than 90% of marriages this year will end in divorce within 5 years.

Where did marriage originate? From my history lessons and research, I can trace it back to around the origins of the christian/catholic religions. Many pagan and 'primitive' societies did not practice marriage, as they did not limit themselves to a single mate. Much like in nature, the males and females shared their sexual partners. In human societies, many people love each other, in varying degrees...according to modern standards, you are supposed to love the one you married above all others. But, this comes into conflict, and many people today are realizing that this is an insane doctrine. How can you love one above all others? There are things a person gets annoyed by even with their 'mate' and there are some that leave that one and eventually find another, which they love equally or more than the previous. All of this is very natural, and I feel it odd and unnatural to only love one.



To me, I feel that you should love all people. Love is much better than hate or fear, is it not? So why not love? Logical, isn't it?



I have once been married, and I found it a rather unpleasant experience. The woman I was with was very controlling and abusive, mentally...after 3 years, I finally managed to break away and get my own problems sorted out. Even tho that has scarred me, I don't outright deny people what they want to do, in this concern...but I feel that marriage just is not really necessary...



Currently, marriage is a contract between the two people announcing to the governement and courts that they love each other. Really, you can love one another just as much without a piece of paper saying so..can't you?



Please, some opinions, let me know...and remember, this is not an arguement forum! http://mmb.forumshq.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin2.gif

Quote (MrBlack @ June 29 2002,02:28)



...and remember, this is not an arguement forum!

http://mmb.forumshq.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin2.gif



yes it is http://mmb.forumshq.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/boxing.gif http://mmb.forumshq.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/bash.gif

u r wrong blacky http://mmb.forumshq.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge2.gif



Marriage has changed very little over the years. From earliest recorded history, nearly every society and major religion has embraced and celebrated marriage as the unique, lifelong union of one man and one woman. And while Christians believe that God created marriage, it is clearly not an exclusively Christian institution. It is a part of what is called natural law - those things that are so obviously evident to human beings that they are universal. Marriage is simply a natural part of life, regardless of whether or not a culture has heard certain religious teachings.



Even though marriages are breaking down at an alarming rate and some feel it has little relevance in society, most Canadians are not ready to give up on the tried and true institution. The vast majority of us still desire to marry and to have a life-long partner. And many who have divorced, despite their experiences, choose to remarry. A report from Feedback Research in 1998 found that less than 14% of Canadians felt marriage was an outdated institution. Yet there are many voices telling us that marriage needs to change with the times, that it needs an update if it is to remain relevant.



"For men, staying married boosts the chance of surviving to age 65 from about two out of three to almost nine out of ten.; for women, wedlock ups the likelihood of surviving to old age from about 80 percent to more than 90 percent."

Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher, The Case For Marriage, New York: Broadway Books, 2000.





"40 percent of the married say they are very happy with their life in general, compared to just under a quarter of those who are single, or who are cohabitating. The separated (15% very happy) and the divorced (18% very happy were the least happiest groups.

Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher, The Case For Marriage, New York: Broadway Books, 2000.





Married people have both more and better sex than singles. They not only have sex more often, they enjoy it more, both physically and emotionally, than their unmarried counterparts. Only cohabitors have more sex than married couples, but they do not necessarily enjoy it as much."

Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher, The Case For Marriage, New York: Broadway Books, 2000.





"Marriage for a low-income single parent almost certainly resulted in the movement of the children out of low-income [within a year]… Separation in a two-parent family 'near' the low-income cut off increased eleven-fold the likelihood of a child entering low income."

Morissette, Rene and Marie Drolet. "Why Do Children Move into and Out of Low Income" Research Paper Series Statistics Canada, April, 1999 No. 132





"Not only do children whose parents divorce put off marriage relative to children from intact families, but once married they are more likely to suffer separation or divorce."

From "Death and Divorce: The Long-term Consequences of Parental Loss on Adolescents", Research Paper Series, Statistics Canada, June 9, 1999 No. 135





"Four percent of [men and women] living in common-law unions reported spousal violence compared to only 1% of those who were married."

Valerie Pottie Bunge and Dasiy Locke, Family Violence in Canada: A Statistical Profile 2000, Statistics Canada, July 2000 p. 15.





"The rate of spousal homicide for women in common-law marriages was 25 per million common-law unions, more than 8 times higher than married couples."

Valerie Pottie Bunge and Andrea Levett , Family Violence in Canada: A Statistical Profile 1998 , Statistics Canada, May 1998 p. 29.





"Children in single-parent families are more likely to repeat grades, possess poorer language skills and are in poorer health than other children. They are also less likely to get along well with friends and parents."

HRDC, Online NLSCY Fact Sheet, "Family Structure in Canada"

www.hrdc-drhc.gc.ca/common/news/dept/fact5.shtml





"Children living in post-divorce custodial arrangements have a higher prevalence of behavioural or emotional problems than children living with both parents."

HRDC, Online NLSCY Fact Sheet, "Family Structure in Canada"

www.hrdc-drhc.gc.ca/common/news/dept/fact5.shtml





Of the 41,000 single mothers under 25 in Canada in 1998, 85.4% were living on incomes below Statistics Canada's low-income cut-off (LICO) line.

National Council on Welfare, December 2000





"Canadian high school graduates from two-parent families were more likely to attend university than those from single-parent families (44% v. 35%)."

Butlin, George. "Determinants of Post-secondary Participation" Education Quarterly Review, Statistics Canada, 1999,Vol. 5 No. 3 p. 23.





"Among Canadian-born adults aged 20 to 44, more than 80% of those from two parent biological families completed high school, compared with 71% of those from lone-parent families. Those who lived in blended or step-families at age 15 fared no better with a 70% graduation rate"

Fredrick, Judith A. and Monica Boyd, "Impact of Family Structure on High School Completion" Social Trends, Statistics Canada, Spring 1998, No. 48 p. 13.





"The Likelihood that a young male will engage in criminal activity doubles if he is raised without a father and triples if he lives in a neighborhood with a high concentration of single-parent families."

Anne M. Hill and June O'Neil, Underclass Behaviors in the United States: Measurement and Analysis of Determinants, City University of New York, Baruch College (1993)





"Across all categories of substantiated maltreatment, almost one-half (44%) of the cases involved children who lived in a family led by a lone parent: the majority (38%) lived alone with their mother, and 6% with their father."

Catherine Trainor and Karen Mihorean, Family Violence in Canada: A Statistical Profile 2001, Statistics Canada, June 2001 p. 11.





"According to the National Population Health Survey, lone mothers reported consistently worse health status than did mothers in two-parent families."

Claudio Perez and Marie P. Beaudet, "The Health of Lone Mothers," Health Reports v11 n2 Statistics Canada Autumn 1999 p. 29.

YEs yes yes....all of this is based on the societies assumption that the child bearers should be the child raisers...



Which, in my opinion (remember, OPINION http://mmb.forumshq.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink2.gif ) is not quite fair...on the child or the child bearer. Firstly, the child bearers are usually 20-30 years old...barely old enough to really know whats going on in life...they don't have wisdom...wisdom comes with age, as they say...and because most of the child bearers are so unwise (for lack of a better term) the child does not get addequate teachings.



Heres a thought for you to think over for a bit...what if society were to utilize the 'community family theory'?



What this is, is the entire community of all age ranges. Instead of having one set of parents that are not fully able to raise a shild, the child should live in the community and be raised by everyone. In this way, the child learns from everyone, they learn wisdom from the elders, they learn to play from the children, they learn and help teach the mid-lifers (basically, 20s-50s).



Now, before you think this is a bad idea, as some are prolly thinking already...forget what you know and think. Think from a different perspective. Firstly, is it logical to force a person, who is barely able to support themselves, barely knows anything about the world, to raise a child and tach that child things they barely know? Would it not be more logical for the elders, who in todays society have no function, to be the teachers and child raisers? The elders have much more patience, they have much more experience, much more knowledge and wisdom.



Mark Twain once said, when I was 19, my father knew little more than me, but when I was 39, I was amazed at how much he knew.







As for marriage being a natural part of life. I do not think so. Many of the history books have been written by people of religion, many have been altered by the views of those writting them. Long before the egyptians, there was no thing as marriage...the mayans had no marriage, they used community families; the indians native to the America used the community family, and had no marriage. Many of the ancient societies that were destroyed under the pretenses of civilizing the primitives did not use marriage.

marriage who needs it....

a female response to marriage? honestly, i have no use for it. my parents (mom and step-dad of 14 years) just divorced and they were the last people i thought would EVER split-up. even before news of their divorce, i had the same opinion, tho. i don't need paper and authorities to tell me it's legally okay to love and participate in sex with someone. my heart is the authority on that. i don't want to give half my stuff up to leave someone, tho, i have given it all up to leave people before. my life is worth more than stuff. i hate the thought of losing the man i love, but i will not use the human laws (which means nothing in the bigger picture - therefore it means nothing to me now) to tie him to me, either. he's been there and i've seen the result. i love him too much to do that.



however, mrblack, if my man loved another, i would want NO part of it. i used to believe as you believe, until i let go of the reins on my feelings for him. love grew so deep in myself, i don't want anyone else for the first time in this life. my mind always cheated before. now, it can't. scary as it may be, i think my man is worth the risk.



so, i can do without marriage, as long as the love flows like fire as has never failed before.



:afire1:

The problem with marriage is that government interferes with it and cheapens it to nothing more than a business arrangment for two people of opposite sexes. It shouldn't be regulated, it should be a personal celebration for the people involved and those they want to witness it.



The other problem with marriage nowadays is that American's are lazier than ever and that extends into our personal lives. Most married people ran off to the altar far too early and in turn, wind up pressing the panic button far too late.



And we value so many things that the Greeks and Romans did...why is homosexuality so shunned? If the Greeks would've chastised Alexander the Great, our society and the history of man could be vastly different. We need a more understanding society that isn't in a hurry to do everything.



Maybe if the first two areas were addressed and corrected, that 90% that just got married wouldn't run off to divorce court by the time the next presidential elections roll around or the World Cup, whichever you prefer to use as a measuring stick.

Heres another female response for ya hun :)



I think people are making the mistake of getting married too young. People view marriage as an "adult" situation and kids are wanting to grow up too fast nowadays which leads to divorce in the end.



A lot of people are also getting married for reasons other than love. People are marrying for pregnancy and money and other sad reasons :(



Just my 2 cents

I'm married to Hindra's girl... she's my sweetheart



oh god I hope he doesnt see this post. He'd kill me if he ever found out



maybe i should delete this..

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nah.. I like living on the edge.

:cigar:

lol @ aragon.. If I am married to you wheres my half of your paycheck?!?! and when are you going to start paying for hayley you owe me about 2 years there buddy





BUT I THINK YOU GUYS SHOULD HARASS BRUNT INTO MARRYING ME HE IS JUST TAKING TOO LONG!!!





(I will pay the one who talks him into it first 10$ (woo hoo) but it has to be the most romantic way of asking) lol:love: :love: :love: