Santa [Archive] - ForumsHQ
Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2001 12:17 pm
Dear Santa I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a
gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend, BiLLy
Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn
care. How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and
write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa
_
Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I
ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah
Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't
they? Santa
Dear Santa, I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, Francis
Dear Francis, Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay. Santa
Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas
Dear Thomas, All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in
Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know. Santa
Dear Santa, I really really want a puppy this year. Please please
please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one? Timmy
Dear Timmy, That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but
that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again. Santa
__
Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you
get into our home? Love Marky
Mark, First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams, Santa
gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend, BiLLy
Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn
care. How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and
write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa
_
Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I
ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah
Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't
they? Santa
Dear Santa, I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, Francis
Dear Francis, Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay. Santa
Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas
Dear Thomas, All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in
Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know. Santa
Dear Santa, I really really want a puppy this year. Please please
please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one? Timmy
Dear Timmy, That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but
that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again. Santa
__
Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you
get into our home? Love Marky
Mark, First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams, Santa