Stupid [Archive] - ForumsHQ
Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2002 11:43 am
Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid" .
That way you wouldn't rely on them. You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be
like, "Excuse me... oops, never mind. I didn't see your sign."
It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and
here was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and says "Hey,are
you moving?" Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many
boxes it takes. Here's your sign."
***
A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled
his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass and this idiot
on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope. Talked 'em into
giving up. Here's your sign."
***
I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There
was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it.
All right Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to
jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you."
"Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."
***
Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those
side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my
truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. I said,
"Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up
on me. Here's your sign."
***
We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the
house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house,
he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says,
"Darn that's hot!"
See? If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.
***
I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you
know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I
couldn't get it out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop
shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning. I thought for
sure he was clear of needing a sign until he asked "So.. is your truck
stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig
and then back to him and said "no I'm delivering a bridge... here's your sign."
***
I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said
"Are you still here?"
I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."
***
That way you wouldn't rely on them. You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be
like, "Excuse me... oops, never mind. I didn't see your sign."
It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and
here was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and says "Hey,are
you moving?" Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many
boxes it takes. Here's your sign."
***
A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled
his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass and this idiot
on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope. Talked 'em into
giving up. Here's your sign."
***
I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There
was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it.
All right Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to
jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you."
"Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."
***
Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those
side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my
truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. I said,
"Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up
on me. Here's your sign."
***
We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the
house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house,
he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says,
"Darn that's hot!"
See? If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.
***
I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you
know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I
couldn't get it out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop
shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning. I thought for
sure he was clear of needing a sign until he asked "So.. is your truck
stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig
and then back to him and said "no I'm delivering a bridge... here's your sign."
***
I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said
"Are you still here?"
I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."
***