Yawn [Archive] - ForumsHQ
Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2001 10:09 am
A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING
A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE
INTERRUPTS, "HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE
LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY?
IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW,"
HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS
ANGRILY; "FIX THE LIGHT? NOW?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE A GE LOGO
PRINTED ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!"
THE WIFE ASKS, "WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX
THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT."
TO WHICH HE REPLIED, "FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE
WESTINGHOUSE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I
DON'T THINK SO."
"FINE," SHE SAYS "THEN YOU COULD AT
LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT
DOOR? THEY'RE ABOUT TO BREAK,"
"I'M NOT A DAMN CARPENTER AND I DON'T
WANT TO FIX STEPS," HE SAYS. "DOES
IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ACE HARDWARE WRITTEN
ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK
SO. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU. I'M GOING TO
THE BAR !!!"
SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A
COUPLE OF HOURS. HE STARTS TO FEEL
GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE,
AND DECIDES TO GO HOME AND HELP OUT.
AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES
THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED. AS HE
ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT
IS WORKING. AS HE GOES TO GET
A BEER, HE NOTICES THE FRIDGE DOOR IS
FIXED.
'HONEY," HE ASKS, "HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?"
"WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE
AND CRIED. JUST THEN A NICE
YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG,
AND I TOLD HIM. HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE
REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO
WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE."
HE SAID, "SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE HIM?"
SHE REPLIED, "HELLOOOOO.......DO YOU SEE
BETTY CROCKER WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO!"
A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE
INTERRUPTS, "HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE
LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY?
IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW,"
HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS
ANGRILY; "FIX THE LIGHT? NOW?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE A GE LOGO
PRINTED ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!"
THE WIFE ASKS, "WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX
THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT."
TO WHICH HE REPLIED, "FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE
WESTINGHOUSE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I
DON'T THINK SO."
"FINE," SHE SAYS "THEN YOU COULD AT
LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT
DOOR? THEY'RE ABOUT TO BREAK,"
"I'M NOT A DAMN CARPENTER AND I DON'T
WANT TO FIX STEPS," HE SAYS. "DOES
IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ACE HARDWARE WRITTEN
ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK
SO. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU. I'M GOING TO
THE BAR !!!"
SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A
COUPLE OF HOURS. HE STARTS TO FEEL
GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE,
AND DECIDES TO GO HOME AND HELP OUT.
AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES
THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED. AS HE
ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT
IS WORKING. AS HE GOES TO GET
A BEER, HE NOTICES THE FRIDGE DOOR IS
FIXED.
'HONEY," HE ASKS, "HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?"
"WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE
AND CRIED. JUST THEN A NICE
YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG,
AND I TOLD HIM. HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE
REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO
WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE."
HE SAID, "SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE HIM?"
SHE REPLIED, "HELLOOOOO.......DO YOU SEE
BETTY CROCKER WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO!"