Questions and Answers about sex [Archive] - ForumsHQ
Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2001 9:24 am
Q: What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A: A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps
with everybody at the party except you.
Q: What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
A: Spitting, swallowing and gargling
Q: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery.
Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. The hard part is getting them in the light bulb.
Q: When is a pixie not a pixie?
A: When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a goblin.'
Q: What's the definition of a Yankee?
A: Same thing as a "quickie," only you do it yourself.
Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
driving
Q: What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
A: No one to talk to during orgasm.
Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
A: A golden retriever.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?
A: A mechanic!
Q: Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A: The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen
donuts.
Q: Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
A: She is the one who can eat the last donut!
Q: Jewish dilemma:
A: Free PORK.
Q: What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther
King Day?
A: On St. Patrick's Day, everybody wishes they were Irish.
Q: How can you tell which is the head nurse?
A: The one with the dirty knees.
Q: What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A: A battery has a positive side.
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mother.
Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his ass.
Q: A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who
has the biggest tits?
A: The blonde, because she's 18.
Q: Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
A: Because their balls fall over their ####### and they vapour-lock.
Q: The three words most hated by men during sex?
A: "Are you In?" or "Is It In?"
Q: Three words women hate to hear when having sex?
A: "Honey, I'm home!"
Q: Why do men take showers instead of baths?
A: Pissing in the bath is disgusting.
Q: Did you hear about the new paint called "Blonde" paint?
A: It's not very bright, but it spreads easy.
Q: Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
A: When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.
Q: How can you tell a macho women?
A: She rolls her own tampons.
A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A: A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps
with everybody at the party except you.
Q: What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
A: Spitting, swallowing and gargling
Q: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery.
Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. The hard part is getting them in the light bulb.
Q: When is a pixie not a pixie?
A: When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a goblin.'
Q: What's the definition of a Yankee?
A: Same thing as a "quickie," only you do it yourself.
Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
driving
Q: What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
A: No one to talk to during orgasm.
Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
A: A golden retriever.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?
A: A mechanic!
Q: Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A: The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen
donuts.
Q: Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
A: She is the one who can eat the last donut!
Q: Jewish dilemma:
A: Free PORK.
Q: What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther
King Day?
A: On St. Patrick's Day, everybody wishes they were Irish.
Q: How can you tell which is the head nurse?
A: The one with the dirty knees.
Q: What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A: A battery has a positive side.
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mother.
Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his ass.
Q: A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who
has the biggest tits?
A: The blonde, because she's 18.
Q: Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
A: Because their balls fall over their ####### and they vapour-lock.
Q: The three words most hated by men during sex?
A: "Are you In?" or "Is It In?"
Q: Three words women hate to hear when having sex?
A: "Honey, I'm home!"
Q: Why do men take showers instead of baths?
A: Pissing in the bath is disgusting.
Q: Did you hear about the new paint called "Blonde" paint?
A: It's not very bright, but it spreads easy.
Q: Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
A: When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.
Q: How can you tell a macho women?
A: She rolls her own tampons.