Relationships..I dont know where else to put this. [Archive] - ForumsHQ

[MrBlack]

I had some stuff to say earlier, but I forgot it before I could post, but rereading some of the later posts, I have a few things to add.



First off, theres this really great herb out there that works great for depression. It's cheaper and usually more effective than a shrink and a prescription (I went from this herb to celexa, and the sexual side effects of the celexa was great, but the nauseau and dizzyness was not kewl, so I stick with the herb)...but if you don't wanna go that route...I can't help ya much there. It takes a conscious effort to realize and get out of a depression.





As for the relationship...A child may seem like a good reason to stay together (I know its more than that for you, but read on a lil more). However, the child will eventually get older and see the unhappiness in the relationship, and begin to emulate it, thinking thats how a person should act with their loved ones. It will, in the long run, scar the child.



Now, happiness is the most important thing to your health. If you aren't happy with something, you need to figure out why, and change it. A happy worker is a productive worker, you know the addage. If it makes you miserable, you need to take a break from it, and see if you can fix it or if not, remove it until you can figure it out at a later time.

My marriage was making me miserable, so I had to leave. I now have a friendly relationship with my ex..we talk once in a while, much like all my online friends ;) It has made an imporvemnet in my life, my depression receded for a while, I managed to goto school, and I met another wonderful girl ;)



Now, I just completely lost what I was trying to say, because I got up and went into the other room to watch Dune for a few minutes...so I hope you get teh jist of what I said and if not, aim me, I can say more then ;)

[Raybdbomb]

man FUCK herbs, that's bullshit

[Aragon]

i had something long written but i want to tell you personally so stop working so damn much. I'll pay you 10/hr for your time. hehe. :-p

[Dark]

Looks like Aragon is looking for a bitch ;)

[LoONeYOnE]

Depression cant just be fixed, especially if it's been going for a while. I am myslef and i'm not hardly motivated in most anything. To just say that your going to help them , and doing it are separate things. Brunt, i know you'll stick with it to the end, your a very honerable, trusting, and loyal man. I'm behind you all the way, and if you need any help at all, just ask and i'll try to get on it. I'm not turning on anyone, i'll be there for the both if you when you need it, all you need is ask! (Yes, i'm new, ya'll dont know me, but i'll try to post a bit more in da future) :D

[Brunt]

Yeah well...Erin got really really mad at me for this post..I got mad at her for telling personal stuff about me, that I didn't want other people to know about..



This isn't some kind of secret, or a personal thing of Erins..this is how she treats me. This is how she is. Does she have the right to get mad at me?

[LoONeYOnE]

Anyone has the right to get mad. For what's been said though, it seems this is as open as what she's said about what ever else. Secrets are ment to be. If one side of the dam doesn't hold, the other will fight as much as it can untill it's over-run with pressure. Time is the thing here, waiting is viable thing, be patient and the course of things will be better tracked. Just stick with it. :D

[Reckless]

Originally posted by Ray Dillyo

well, here's what you should do....



butter her up with some romance, some Marvin Gaye or whatever his gay ass name is



Isn't his name Ray? :D







As for Brunt. Maybe time apart would be the best thing for you? Maybe she's suffering from depression? Sleeping too much is one sign of it. Don't let the kid keep you in a relationship that isn't going to work out.

[Speed]

Does she have the right to get mad at me?





I'm willing to bet she's not mad at you simply for posting this. I'm betting she's mad because of the responses she has seen from us. Everyone is saying kick her to the curb and whatnot. That's probably scaring her. Maybe this thread helped a little, maybe not. I would have to agree with Pork in the matter. Just get up and leave for a time, if at all possible. It's kinda hard to do this when you work and stuff, cause she can just go to your job, but it would probably help. She needs a kick in the ass is what she needs.

[Platinum]

Brunt..now that she's read this thread, maybe she'll realize something. MrBlack is right, happiness is THE most important thing.



She can complain about back problems all she wants..my sister got in a car accident a couple years ago and her back has been hurting her every day since. She's also had a job every day since (the days that she wasn't in school, while she was still going to school). Back pains is nothing of an excuse, almost every city has a government run hospital that's basically free, tell her to go have them take a look and do what they can.



I agree that she does appear to be awefully depressed. She used to be all happy and cheery with everyone on this forum, then we ALL saw her bad side suddenly surface in a few different threads, and for no apparent reason except for obvious JOKES. She does need to get out and do something, like a JOB. There are plenty of places she can work that won't further her back problems..we aren't saying she should work at Lowe's or Home Depot..



They're also right, a child is no reason to stay in a relationship you aren't happy in. Though, I don't think they get your point..I don't think you're staying in this because of the child, from what I read you really do love her. If this is the case, then you have every right to want to help her through everything, but reading on here won't help. Have the two of you sat down and talked (WITHOUT ARGUING over it)?



Let her know how you feel, which isn't always the easiest thing. Most of the time what you WANT to say to someone will ALWAYS come across in the worst way it could, so you have to watch exactly what you say..sometimes instead of fighting with people that are friends/family (girlfriends included in friends) I want to just tell them what's wrong and try and come up with a way to fix it..but I rarely do because people always take criticism the wrong way like you're trying to bring them down.



I don't know what to tell you to say to her, but you need to say something. The hours you're working, the chores you're doing, the time not speant with your kid..that's extremely unhealthy.



Best of luck..I don't really keep up with this thread, I don't like reading relationship stuff much (lol, so shoot me=P) but I thought, what the hell I'll say a thing or two..



Again, Good Luck.